Thanks For Making The Line Clear Between Christianity And Whatever It Is That You Believe.

There have always been “those people” who seem to say outrageous things in the name of Christianity. Often, they are dismissed as crazy-people. Often, they are accepted as examples of what Christians really believe. It seems, though, that the advent of the internet and social media have brought a new level of force to both, and now these folks are being accepted as BOTH crazy-people AND examples of what Christians really believe. This is an attempt to gather all of the crazy together in one place, name it for what it is, and exorcise it (that is, distinguish it from Christianity: what Christ taught).

This is an always updating list, to please use the comments section to add your favorite new or old crazy-person-faux-faith quote.

Category: Sex and Christianity

Author: Douglas Wilson (Prominent “Reformed” Author and Professor)

“When we quarrel with the way the world is, we find that the world has ways of getting back at us. In other words, however we try, the sexual act cannot be made into an egalitarian pleasuring party. A man penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts. This is of course offensive to all egalitarians, and so our culture has rebelled against the concept of authority and submission in marriage. This means that we have sought to suppress the concepts of authority and submission as they relate to the marriage bed.”

Why its not Christianity: 1 Corinthians 7 speaks in no uncertain or ambiguous terms about mutual submission, not conquering or colonizing. Jesus brings equality, and pushes against patriarchy, even when it was practiced so staunchly by his own people. Taking a lesson from Jesus, Paul says, “In Christ, there is neither male nor female.” The scripture likes egalitarian stuff. And it is not against pleasure either. So sexually? Go ahead and have an egalitarian pleasure party in your marriage. It’s Biblical. 

Category: Violence and Christianity

Author: John Piper (Prominent Pastor and Loudest Voice for the New “Reformed” Movement)

“It’s right for God to slaughter women and children anytime he pleases. God gives life and he takes life. Everybody who dies, dies because God wills that they die. God is taking life every day. He will take 50,000 lives today. Life is in God’s hand. God decides when your last heartbeat will be, and whether it ends through cancer or a bullet wound. God governs.”

 Why it’s not Christianity: First off, you almost get the impression that he is trying to offend people here, which might not be too far from the truth. Second, God could certainly kill anyone who God desired to kill, but there is that pesky quote that says that God does not want ANYONE to perish (1 Peter 3:9). The fundamental misunderstanding here is a disconnect with the worldview of the Hebrew Bible and our modern worldview. In the Hebrew Bible, the worldview of the people was that God (or the gods) were responsible for EVERYTHING that happened, not just the good or right things. God didn’t tell them that the Divine was responsible if they won a war or lost one, they just assumed that if they won, it was because God was on their side. So you can see how that might have affected the way they wrote about their conquests. Jesus corrects this type of thinking in Luke 13, where he tells the community that God isn’t leveling out judgement because of sin or whatever, bad things just sometimes happen. Also, Christianity teaches that God is love and that we are all children of God. And most of us know intuitively that it isn’t very loving to kill your kids.

Author: George Zimmerman (Shooter of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, and would-be NRA hero) (update 7/19/12)

In response to shooting the unarmed teenager after following him without reason, Zimmerman stated, “I feel that it was all God’s plan.”

Why it’s not Christianity: Jesus said, “Love your enemies. Pray for those who curse you.” We might add that we have found it hard to love and shoot to kill at the same time. God’s will? We think not. Racism and overzealous gun behavior? Yes. 

One thought on “Thanks For Making The Line Clear Between Christianity And Whatever It Is That You Believe.

  1. Charles

    Oh for…

    This is the first I’ve heard about the Zimmerman thing (It’s been crazy the past couple of weeks).

    I think I’ll just pound my head against the table for a while.

    Much better. Now I can think about my new headache instead of his painfully-stupid statement.


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