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The Rise Of The Pinkie Pie State

Towards a Rescued Responsible Masculine Libertarian Utopia

pinkypie balloons

Today dear audience I wish to present before you the awful truth about our society. Through a lengthy nuanced, incoherent political screed, I plan to provide more pop culture references than actual facts to prove that America has gone downhill. America has exchanged pearls for pig slop, cultural and political freedom for limited personal freedom in the name of being squeaky clean and, ew, having fun! The current disaster I bring to you I have named the Pinkie Pie State. The Pinkie Pie State is completely unlike the campaign versus HillaryCare and the concept of the Nanny State of the in the 1990’s. The Pinkie Pie State must be resisted at all costs. We can’t have too many girls hosting parties. in addition to referring to movies you may or may not have seen, I am also going to name drop a few great philosophers from the Western Canon in order to prove that I have transcended today’s shameful habit of playing Identity Politics.

The new world order that we see today has more affinity to the democratic socialist dystopian reality of the world of the Hunger Games. Rather than Katniss Everdeen having the target on her back, it is Peeta and Gale who’s lives are at risk. Given the fact that Johanna Mason is one of the leaders of the “revolution,” she is the actual ideal player for the Pinkie Pie State. Johanna is oppressed by the Motherly bureacrats, and given the fact that President Snow symbolically represents the emasculated man currently running our multinational corporations and universities, the elevator scene highlights just how immoral Johanna is. One should not mistake the rise in the popularity of the Hunger Games trilogy based off of Greek mythology as a mere coincidence. Johanna Mason IS The Pinkie Pie State.

According to the ancient Stoics, the World had a soul on the inside of it. If there was a group of women who had too much fun, then the World’s soul would experience an imbalance. The World’s Soul needs to be saved, and what it suffers from is what I diagnose as The Pinkie Pie State. The Great Western Tradition was built on the backs of, YES, CALL ME POLITICALLY INCORRECT, White Men who believed in the virtue of getting others to do hard work for them, responsibility, and persuading others to take risks for them. As Poulos said yet so eloquently,

“But unlike Adolph Hitler, Andrew W.K. is an American, and one of the great blessings visited upon America is the naiveté about power found in its origins as a new country in a new world. To be sure, native Americans and African Americans have suffered grievously under that naiveté. But it has also spared America from the cataclysmic oscillations between reactionary re-enchantment and revolutionary disenchantment that ruined European civilization and plague it still. From the standpoint of Plato’s fable, America’s residual innocence about power has arrested democracy’s decay into tyranny.”

America’s innocence has prevented Her from becoming an oppressive nation-state. If indeed ignorance is bliss, then America has truly been blessed with a bountiful helping of happiness. Reverse Racism poses as the greatest threat to our national joy, wouldn’t you agree? Reverse Racism and racial violence became popular right around the time that Edward Norton’s American History X debuted in theaters. Whites receiving racial discrimination because of the Black thugs in power became the prevailing unjust philosophy of the day. Thus, American History X made way for the Pinkie Pie State to publish a record number of texts on Critical Race Theory. Bigotry and anger now reigns in the current Era of Twittervists Gone Wild. What we need is a return to Augustine, Plato, Tocqueville, and Hayek and banning the work of Thomas Paine and Frederick Douglass in public and private schools.

There’s absolutely no question that the nuanced difference between the Feminist socialism of Hillary Clinton and the Lean In feminism of the Pinkie Pie State is where women and effeminate men is whereby the women are making more money and therefore having too much hedonistic fun. We must look for a Third Way, a Third Way that will challenge the Pinkie Pie State, and rescue men from Misandrist policies. Protest if you will, but We ARE ALL GILMORE GIRLS NOW, AND ALL MEN ARE LUKE. Like at the end of the episode “Too Many Pinkie Pies,” only a nuanced Western, Responsible, risky rescued Christian Masculinity can prevent Lorelai Gilmores from cloning herself into more Rory Gilmores.

Mainstreaming Radicalism

“Radicals are hopeless, they are all ugly, and are so ungrateful for everything given to them. — they are ultimately rooted in a sense that everything sucks”

I don’t get it. I really don’t get it.

I really just don’t understand how there’s an entire generation of Christians out there who feel like Mainline Christianity has let them down, that there’s this BIG CONSPIRACY OUT THERE: that the Bible shows us just how terrible everything is. EVERYTHING IS AWFUL! EVERYTHING IS NOT COOL WHEN YOU’RE NOT PART OF OUR TEAM!

It can be a startling revelation to learn that there are a relatively small group of people sitting on their couches, criticizing the civil religion that this great nation was founded on. Social Justice Warriors have absolutely no respect for their elders, which is completely ageist by the way!

We might still be reeling, okay, okay, just a tad bit embarassed that there are no Mainline Protestant members on the Supreme Court, and we have all of these elitist outsiders “claiming” that we live in a Post-Christian world, and that may be true. This is especially true when many Mainline Christian voices are exiting the public realm. How can there be a realm with no King? If the nation’s civil religion is removed, who will be there rule over the masses? Certainly not lazy hyper-critical Twittervists!

So who in their right minds would try to mainstream radicalism? Well, I’d like to give it a try.

If you can’t imagine anything good coming out of Mainline Christendom, this essay may not be for you.

Mainstream Churches are not about seeking other options, it is not a project for outsiders; this is for insiders.The point isn’t to challenge conservatives in power, but to emulatethem.

The temperament of radicals is defined by a nihilistic disposition. Radicals are filled with ingratitude, they are mean. Surveys have shown of the top 300 of Social Justice Warriors who use Digital media, 79% of them possess no sense of humor OR patriotism, and they certainly don’t care about being respectable! Radicals are hopeless, they are all ugly, and are so ungrateful for everything given to them. — they are ultimately rooted in a sense that everything sucks.

This isn’t a rescue project. This is not a call to turn back time to the good ole days where all of our civic leaders attended Episcopalien, Methodist and Baptist churches. If you are a radical, and you have no respect for yourself, then there’s isn’t a hedge of protection around you. The Mainline Church has always been a for-ism project; we are in favor of assimilating the world’s most hideous rejects into being civilized participants of our society. It’s not like ugliness will save the world, okay?

As my favorite director Tyler Perry once testified, the family that prays together at the dinner table, stays together. It’s only at the potluck dinners filled with casseroles and lemon meringue pies that The Church can teach others about unity and politeness. He who fills himself with two helpings of mashed potatoes learns what it is like to NOT bite at the hand who fed him. When brotherhood and niceness are scoffed at in favor of barbarism, we merely get assimilated into being worthless slackers. It might be the “radicals” in The Church who look reactionary. Sort of like Hitler.

sarcasm: a Christian perspective

Okay, so I have sort of a satirical side to my blogposts from time to time. My sarcastic humor does come out at work occasionally, but it was not until recently I came across the fundamentalist idea that sarcasm was a “sin.” Here’s for example this post by a Thomas Umstattd. But I think that anyone after weighing the Bible’s witness, I must say that what the writer Thomas Umstattd is promoting legalism. Just because he does not understand how something works within the biblical narrative, and because there’s an overuse with a practice, does not in anyway make sarcasm a sin. If I may, one of my favorite stories growing up (and still is) is the story of Elijah confronting the hundreds of prophets of Baal. In 1st Kings 18:27, Elijah is LYING to the prophets of Baal, he ponders, “Is Baal using the restroom? Maybe he has fallen asleep?” In this instance, between the believing audience (us) and Elijah, we know that Baal is just an idol. In the context of confronting idolatry, Elijah insists on using sarcasm to get his point across. This is a man inspired by God, who is carried away in the chariot of fire. The Bible is filled with other stories that involve wordplay and riddles, men of God using mockery and we US American Christians work so hard to sanitize this. God sends lying spirits in the Old Testament. Our God is sovereign, our God is free to use whatever genre He chooses to confront the Enemy. God cannot be contained–which is the goal of legalism. In the moment that Elijah was confronting the prophets of Baal, was he insecure? Nope. Was Elijah demonstrating good leadership? Yes, and he was confronting bad leadership. More importantly, Elijah was not using sarcasm against the persons of the prophets of Baal, notice that. He was critiquing their ideas. So when sarcasm is used to cut at a person personally in their representation of God’s image, that is mockery, and that is wrong and sinful. Yet when sarcasm is used to criticize ideas, this is okay, it is biblical. Lies as Mr Umstattd said are indeed the language of Satan, but so also are half-truths. Truth can be delivered in the form of irony, especially since TRUTH is a Person, the 2nd Person in the Trinity (John 18:37-38). So when one examines the use of saracasm, it should be utilized against problematic ideas that oppress people, for instance.

For more Christian perspectives on sarcasm and its usefulness, see for example this article by Rachel Marie Stone from Christianity Today’s Her.Meneutics: In defense of sarcasm.