Tag Archives: just for laughs

What Your Bible Translation Tells Me about You

Some Random Thoughts On How I Judge People

Being that I was raised in a more traditional black Baptist church, but not really fundamentalist where we got obsessed with what version of the Bible we carried or what, I enjoy poking fun at those certain persons who seem to have more than just a small attachment to their preferred translation of the Bible. Inspired by this twitter conversation, here are my working conclusions so far.

New Living Translation: Indicates that you have been a part of the Bible Wars for years and you are looking for a way to escape the King James Version only crowd. It means you still hold on to your embedded conservative theology but are desiring to engage other Christians outside of the KJVO faith.

English Standard Version: If you love the ole ESV, that may mean you are either Reformed theologically or you are a moderate who is curious what an updated version of the RSV would look like.

Revised Standard Version: Still stuck in the 1950s, you believe that the RSV is all that is left between the world and knowing God’s will. The National Council of Churches was not as liberal back then, so it cannot be that bad.

New American Standard Version: You care more about accuracy, which makes you better than people attached to the NLT.  Theologically, you consider yourself a moderate, which usually means you are a progressive suffering from denial.

New Revised Standard Version: Usually over-educated and indoctrinated in a mainline church, the NRSV-onlyist crowd was once adverse to reading anything outside of the New International Version.  NRSV-onlyists are too smart for their own good and look down upon every other translation; that is why they are often mistaken for the KJVO.

The Message: This pretty much means you are changing religions. Seriously.

New International Version/Today’s NIV: Brought up in an evangelical church that holds firm to inerrancy and the Purpose Driven Life like the plague, the NIV came as a surprise to those who grew up familiar with the KJV. So God did not speak Shakespearean English? The NIV is more accessible to children but not really good for memorizing. Perhaps that is why the NIV reader becomes a lover of reading the Bible as story, like the……

The Voice: Defenders of the Voice are oh so obsessed with the narrative interpretation of Scripture.  The translators decide what the meta-narrative is and even get to add words to the Gospel to make it more relevant. Sort of like some other religions I know of.

King James Version: Either you are a sentimental progressive who doesn’t want to rock the boat at your church or you have made the KJV the 4th person of the Trinity, right behind God, Jesus, and John Calvin.

A Day in the Life of A Biblioblogger/Theoblogger

So many of you are wondering: what is it like to live the life of a privileged bibliblogger/theoblogger.

Well, life is so difficult but no one has been able document our lifestyle until now. So, without further ado, a day in the life of the biblioblogger/theoblogger exposed.

5:00am Woke up from dreaming about what theologian to quote today. Maybe Karl Barth or John Piper.

5:05 am Read Jim West’s first post of the day on Zwingli.

5:15am Said a short prayer before checking facebook.

5:20am Checked my comments subscriptions to see if my questions are being ignored once again. Yup, still not being interacted with.

5:30am Check my 241 blog subscriptions.

5:35am  Read Jim West’s latest post on Zwingli

5:40am Decided begrudgingly to take a shower rather than live the Bohemian lifestyle.

6:00am Tweeted about random theological insight. Something to do with the NLT being the worst translation ever written after the The Shack Bible.

6:30am Ate breakfast. Ummm oatmeal and raisins.

7:00 Left home for work; had to check Jim West’s latest post on Zwingli right before I locked the doors.

8:00am Sit in the office, reading biblioblogs and comments. Re-posted and linked to the latest depravity found on Jim West’s blog.

9:00am pretending to get work done until lunch time

1:00pm Re-Tweeting tweets and blog posts that I agree with. Especially from the Huffington Post and Religion Dispatches.

3:00pm Work on ideas for my own original blog posts. Glance at Jim West’s blog for inspiration.

4:00pm Take a quick nap. Dreams of a world without the New Living Translation.

5:00pm Time to go home. Needed the latest news on Zwingli. Apparently he is dead.

6:00pm Wrote on Mark Stevens’ facebook wall; he still thinks Australia has a chance of beating the US in basketball.

7:00pm Started watching my daily dose of prime-time television. Live-tweeting during Caprica, Dancing with the Stars, and Glee only to annoy Jeremiah. For three straight hours.

10:00pm Bedtime. Dreaming about Zwingli burning the NLT. What a mad world!