Sunday, I was sitting through worship, as chipper as can be, when I looked at the worship bulletin, and then I started laughing and mumbling at the same time. You probably know that feeling , that one contemporary worship song, with the horrible theology and bad metaphors that just drive you bonkers. So, after a couple of days of struggling with a title for this meme, I went all politically correct again.
So, here is the meme,
Please try to name ONE (I know, there are so many to choose from) CCM praise song that you find unbearable and at least 2-3 reasons why, pointing to specific lyrics if you must.
My personal favorite is “Days of Elijah”:
My issues with the song:
1. “These are the days of Ezekiel”– Oh really? These are the days of Ezekiel? Have you ever even read the first 11 chapters of Ezekiel? Ezekiel was not a nice guy and let’s just say there are a lot of corpses in the temple by the end of chapter 11. I don’t see many Christians in the US sitting on the banks of Chebar in exile. So no, I don’t think we want the days of Ezekiel, not for anyone!
2. “The fields are as white in Your world”– Ah, isn’t that lovely? Jesus is just coming back to save Europe & America. Lovely.
3. “And these are the days of Your servant David, Rebuilding a temple of praise”– One word. Solomon.
Ladies and Gentleman. Boys and Girls. For tonight’s event, we have in each corner BIBLIOBLOGGERS who want to be wrestlers. And in one corner, from Fort Worth Texas, it’s the Dynamic Duo from Political Jesus, Chad “The Optymyst” and Rodney “The Black Rain” Thomas. [crowd goes wild, screaming, ‘Frak ya, PJ!’].
Challenging the Tag Team champions of the world are:
1. Brian “Blind Jesus” LePort and Mark “Cricket Chunder” Stevens: Well, as authors of a blog dedicated to a group of people who cannot see Jesus if he stood right next to them, Brian’s name makes perfect sense. Mark’s current interest in American Football has lead him to become anti-cricket, so there you have it, cricket makes him vomit every time he sees a score update. It’s a sickening sport anyways.
2. Roland “the Sausage” Boer & Alasdair “UFO” Maclagan: In wrestling, sometimes the league likes to pair up two men who have absolutely nothing in common and who have a bad working relaitonship; Alasdair and Boer are no exception. Roland is famous working as a part-time deli worker at your local Kroger‘s grocery store.
4. Jeremy “Diss Network” Thompson & Joel “Polyester” Watts: Jeremy goes out of his way to disrespect Joel, the grand Protestant tradition, and anyone who does not root for the New Orleans Aints [whoops], but that’s not the reason for this nickname. Like Dish Network his namesake, Jeremy is just plain evil and uncool. This name has nothing to do with him tweeting all the time about his disseration. Not at all. But at least Jeremy is not as lame as Joel, whose secret wrestling move is to make people stare at his mismatched polyester Hawaiian shirt and pants.