Some Advice: If You Want to Run for Political Office

A FEW THINGS TO REMEMBER

1. Hire the most expensive hair stylist you can afford.

2. Make sure your wife isn’t pregnant as you send lewd pictures on your Twitter account. You’ll end up looking even more like a douche bag.

3. And lastly, be sure to make your campaign theme song was written by and performed by a dead person. Otherwise, you will get a cease-and-desist order from an artist who objects to your politics.

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