John 10:7 says Jesus is the door. As we all know, doors are made from wood. So Jesus, if you take the Bible as God’s word, is made of wood. Now, here is the freaky part. According to the church councils of the 4th century, Jesus is the same substance as God. Therefore, follow me here… God is made of wood. Now to take it to a whole other level. The Holy Spirit, according to those same councils, is the same substance as the Father and Christ. Now…ready?… The Spirit is the same word in Hebrew for breath. Therefore, Jesus=door=wood=God=wood=Spirit=wood=Spirit=breath. Jesus had to breath. Jesus was a breath cannibal. He breathed in himself, which was wood. And since we know humans don’t breathe wood, Jesus was not human.