If I Were A Rich White Dude Who Works for Forbes Magazine

This is a satirical response (what it deserves) to Gene Mark’s post on Forbes Online: “If I Were A Poor Black Kid”

If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I would try to show how much I care for my kids’ friends from the ghetto. I would use the internet and Facebook, and even follow them on Twitter, or was that Black Twitter?

If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I would reach out to racial minorities and urban areas through my church. Perhaps I could get the youth group to have a one-week mission trip to an minority-majority part of the city, on the wrong side of the tracks.

If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I would listen to the music that poor black kids like, hip hop. I may even be open-minded enough to let my own kids try some of it.

If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I would talk about the myth of meritocracy, and how we should still believe in it, inspite of racist histories or barriers that may still exist.

If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I would advise poor black kids to buy an Apple computer rather than an iPad or iPhone. That way they don’t have to even walk the few blocks necessary to visit their local library and use the computers there.

If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I would tell the poor black kids to do the impossible and get a job while being under the age of 14, and accepting minimum wage.

If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I would recommend to poor black kids to listen to all the rich white people about the rewards of hard work and dedication, and that they too can live the Horatio Alger dream.

If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I would continue telling minorities how lazy they are. Someday they might even believe it.

*If I were a rich white dude who works for Forbes Magazine, I think I would be smart enough to know that it is not likely that poor black kids would be reading Forbes Magazine.

*I am indebted to a text message from a friend (they know who they are) for that one.

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